2017

Happy 2017. Although it’s already the third week of the new year.

Philippians 3:13-14 says:

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind me and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

In this brand new year, I should learn to look forward and not into the past; that whatever has passed is past and put them behind me. It is ok to reminisce but to live in past memories only serve to make us get stuck in a time warp, unable to progress forward.

Well, I don’t know if there is anything that I am hanging on or holding on to in the past that is rendering me unable to look forward or move forward, but I know that action is important. We can have the best-laid plans but if no action is taken then there will never be any breakthrough. I hope that this can be the year of change for me, in all aspects of the word, that I can persevere in making the kind of changes that I want to see in my life.

Being financially-bound by commitments, the biggest of which is the housing loan that I should stop harbouring resentment towards but be filled with gratitude and gladness that I now have a roof over my head and place to sort of call “my own”, add on the various other necessary payments such as taxes and insurance premiums the latter of which medical-related ones are on the uptrend, I may be constrained with pushing forward with my initial plans to action.

That said, I still want to believe that this is going to be the year of change. Changes can come in small steps, but I need to take one step forward to make things happen.

Merry (belated) Christmas!

So anyway, Christmas has come and gone. So fast. Too fast. I thought it was just November? Good times never seem to last, but that is how things work. Good times are enjoyable and so they appear to pass faster. The reverse is, of course, true as well.

So how did you spend your Christmas? I hope it was all good for everyone out there who happens to come to read this post. Merry Christmas to you, albeit a belated one, although it is technically still Christmas since there are supposed to be 12 days’ of Christmas right? This would make today the 4th day.

Came across an article shared by someone on LinkedIn that talks about complaining, and I would raise both hands sheepishly to admit that I am someone guilty of being a chronic complainer. I know all along it isn’t healthy, even though there are times when there is a need to just ‘vent it out’ and not keep it bottled inside because it is healthier? I don’t know, I guess there are different schools of thought on that, but the article is against complaining. More specifically, it is against complaining without a purpose – it is okay to complain if it leads to a desired outcome, say you are complaining about bad service but with an aim towards hoping there can be an improvement to it (an example in the article). But most of the times, we, or rather I, complain for the sake of it.

It isn’t just a bad habit that should be kicked for good, having it out of our lives actually helps promote better health, maybe better relationships and overall a better quality of life. I┬áthink this would be something for me to work on in 2017, and hopefully the tips offered by the article will help me move in the right direction!

The journey of thoughts

It is not news that I generally am someone who is dissatisfied with many things in life. It’s a given that complaining is a national past-time, and me being a true-blue Singaporean, am also wont to complain all the time. It ranges from day-to-day trivial issues like crowded trains (what’s new), to slightly more serious matters like future plans. Well, the latter is relative, because to me that isn’t trivial but to another person it doesn’t mean a thing.

Anyway, I have always been told to learn to practice gratitude, appreciate what I have in life instead of being a chronic complainer. It is definitely something easier said than done, since being caught in the moment, sometimes it is just easier to vent and play the role of a victim. It is easier to blame the whole world for everything that went wrong, rather than to quiet the mind and consider all the other possibilities that could have been worse off, breathe and move on.

Recently, I have been trying harder than ever, to be appreciative. It is a journey no doubt, but I hope I will be able to proceed in a positive direction. I still am not happy with my life and every circumstance that have led to where I am today. I can complain till the cows come home and frown at every single item that I feel has caused me to envy another person.

But then, comparisons usually lead us nowhere. Sure, they may spur us to improve and probably at some point they will, but raising the quality of one’s life, is something that should be intrinsically-motivated rather than because we see something that we want to have just because someone else has them. Besides, envy and jealousy are hardly desirable feelings since they only leave you feeling bitter with another person or yourself.

And I also try to resolve to move on, move forward. We are all told not to look back too much, for the past has been cast in history and looking back and reminiscing on the good times can create a warm feeling, although sometimes these are felt on hindsight. But looking back and regretting what was done or not, leading to unhappiness, serves no purpose.

So what is the point of this post really? Nothing much other than to serve as a reminder to myself of what I thought I ought to do. It may be incoherent by some accounts but it’s just a way of ‘verbalising’ my thoughts and putting these ruminations into words. I’m just glad that Monday is almost over. More the next time…

let’s get started!

This probably comes late, but I saw this tree post-Christmas as well. I thought that it looked really nice, the way the brightly-coloured presents at the base of the tree complement the ribbons decorating the tree or how they contrast against the dark green of the tree itself. Anyway, merry belated Christmas!

20140102-214021.jpgAs reality slowly sinks in that we have officially left 2013 behind, as much as I bemoan the fact of the rapid passage of time, I was reminded by a friend of the blessings that I’d received in the last year, especially towards the end part of the year. I know I ought to count my blessings, for all that I have received but I can’t help it. I want to change this part of me, to learn to appreciate the little things in life, not just as they happen but consciously feel grateful, and enjoy and breathe life and whatever it holds.

The beginning of the year is a time when people start making resolutions for the year. I’m deliberating if I should or want to. It isn’t that I have trouble keeping what I’d resolve to do, but a lot of things that I want to make happen are really major things that don’t exactly lend themselves to measurement. I think I still won’t pick up driving this year so there is no point putting that down again for the nth time.

Besides the tangible things that find themselves onto the yearly resolutions list and then get struck off, I also want to learn the concept of letting go, of things, of people, of perceptions, of all that have passed their season in my life. Trying to hold on to things like that just make me unhappy and miserable, as I constantly think and re-think things and never get out of the cycle of rumination.

2013!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well, it is almost the end of the first day of 2013, but we have officially stepped into a brand new year. Regardless of how reluctant we are (I am!) about moving forward into this new year that will see us aging inevitably, it is an undeniable fact that 2012 is now part of history that we can only look back on, so either we can choose to reminisce 2012 fondly or wistfully, or think about how nice it would be if we could go back to so-and-so times.

I made a big decision today! I resolved for 2013 that I wanted to deepen my yoga practice, not just to practice regularly but to move a step forward in it. Over the years of practice, no doubt I have seen and felt myself improving in terms of flexibility (I couldn’t even do a proper sit-and-reach for the fitness tests in school before) and strength, but I seem to have reached a plateau and still my alignment is still way off when I see my reflection in the mirrors of the studio. So today, I made a major investment into furthering my practice and working towards better alignment in yoga! It was a quick decision but it was really tough. Nonetheless, whatever I have spent on it, I don’t want to regret the expenditure and I believe that I won’t. *Fingers crossed*

Spent the night of New Year’s Eve at Hood with the UnXpected, along with S and her guy and his friends, and all of us welcomed 2013 together amidst an atmosphere of revelry and well-wishing, with the entire bar singing along to Auld Lang Syne in the first few minutes of the new year.

It was a little odd, to say the least. It isn’t the first time I have been out with couples flanking left and right, I’m no stranger to situations like that, but maybe on an occasion like New Year’s Eve, maybe that is one of the last things I would want to do. Well but at least that is an experience, and now I know how it feels so that in future I can relieve myself of such similar awkwardness. It is not easy for me, of all people, to come to terms with a good friend getting attached. Well, I have close friends who are attached or have got married along the way but maybe when I got to know them they were already at a stage of their lives where they are part of a couple, so that could be the difference. It is a fairly new experience that someone close is now in a different chapter of life, whereas I am still stuck at the same spot, or maybe moving in a direction entirely opposite to this.

For a while, I have maintained a distance, but I realised that only shows how possessive I am getting about my friends. I have to learn that friends, will always be… friends. I can’t expect that they will never get attached or married, because of course I wish too that they can find their happiness in lives with partners who will love and care for them. I just need to manage my expectations of reality better, and know how to deal with events like that happening. It happened, and it will happen with my other friends who are currently still happily single. And I don’t deny that even for myself, it will probably also be the same. So to quote the French, c’est la vie!

I am just glad that this time, I see the light faster, I think. As compared to a previous situation with another friend that involved a misunderstanding, that took years before the knot was finally unravelled.

Here’s wishing everyone the best in 2013. Like my post in FB, I want to live a life I love, and be kinder to myself. I have already began to do that on the very first day this year, so I hope everyone will also have a blast in 2013!