That is what most people have offered up, mostly of course fellow believers in Christ, when I lament about the state that I seem to be stuck in.
It isn’t breaking news, in fact it is extremely stale, that I have almost always been looking out for a new job. Maybe not all the time like 100 percent, constantly kind of always, but somehow it appears like I do not seem to be able to break out of that cycle of, I don’t know, momentum? which gets to me after a couple of years into a job.
It explained why I had decided to seek professional advice in the form of a coach, although with life/career coaches, they work pretty much like therapists in psychology or psychiatry, where a lot depends on the individual, to face up honestly to what the other party tries to get you to acknowledge, despite that it often gets very, very uncomfortable. It isn’t just with psychologists and psychiatrists that we are made to confront our inner demons, even with life/career coaches, there is quite a fair amount of uncomfortable feelings that need to be dealt with in the sessions, as much as we always tell ourselves to go into it ‘with an open mind’.
So anyway, that aside, it has been frustrating when said person, yours truly, is frequently prospecting for that elusive job that would perhaps provide me with a greater sense of satisfaction or even just an inkling of not constantly considering the prospect of leaving. Maybe the crux of it lies with me not knowing exactly what I want or seek – do most of us do anyway? Ok, actually some people do know quite clearly what they want in a job, but for me, it’s just a giant mess inside my mind. Probably that is why my professional trajectory has been so ‘choppy’ or tumultuous.
Back to timing. I get unduly and unnecessarily annoyed when I share my thoughts and someone patronising tells me that ‘Oh, maybe everyone is waiting for their bonus’, which in retort I would tell them that I have gone through MANY rounds of bonus payments but somehow the job is still not forthcoming?
One of the things that I look for in most job searches is the feature of ‘travel’. It is something that is both a pro and con. There were times I enjoyed it in my past jobs but there were also times where that has resulted in me wanting to leave because of the circumstances of the travelling and as well the fatigue that it caused me to experience.
So I didn’t know if it is God’s will not for me to travel, because somehow things are not moving along, and with what happened recently on a global scale, is that His hand protecting me? I would wish to think of it that way, but then again, it wasn’t just travelling jobs that I applied for. Sigh.
Then there are those who would tell me ‘Your work/job (there) is not done yet’, so what is it that needs to be done? ‘Ask God.’ Duh.
Ok, this post is just getting very ranty and laced with disgruntled feelings.
Back to timing. Being the indecisive person that I am, I had been vacillating on booking vacations. It had in the past caused me to pay much higher prices for airfares and hotels, not in the spirit of spontaneity but more so due to inability to decide and resolutely make the plunge to book when prices are low and attractive. But this time, I guess it has turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because the 2 places that I would have most likely booked my holidays to are under the areas where we are advised not to carry out non-essential travel to. Nobody knows how it would develop and if it would be, if and when I was there, the situation takes a turn for the worse and I would be served with a SHN when I return, or perhaps not be able to cancel my trip and get a refund if I had booked fares and accommodation that are saver rates.
So again, is this His timing at work?
Sometimes, there are people who would say that we do not need to fear and we can just go ahead because God’s favour and protection is on us. But thing is, there are also times when we are being led by the peace (or lack thereof) and wisdom from the Holy Spirit to not go ahead – because we don’t need to intentionally throw ourselves into harm’s way if the Holy Spirit is leading us away from it.
An unusual order and it felt artery-choking because of how much oilier it is than my usual crispy toast. But French toast with the rich eggy taste and a swop for PB instead of kaya… divine!