associated emotions

It is funny how emotions of humans beings (talking about me in particular, yes me again who else right) can be stirred and affected by a myriad of random things.

Just the other day, arising from the announcement by our neighbouring country up north about the lock-down that included us, a second wave of panic-buying albeit to a lesser extent maybe ensued. Despite that it was not as bad as when the DORSCON was raised to Orange when I was shocked by how people reacted and emptied all the shelves in supermarkets and minimarts, it was evident that people are stocking up on the usual necessities such as toilet paper (apparently this is a global phenomenon), but this time even things like bread, rice, biscuits, etc., were being snapped up.

In the first round, people were mainly stocking up on dried foods and things like instant noodles and canned food disappeared from the shelves. With Malaysia being a major source of food supplies to us, I guess people were concerned about the staples running out so more different things flew off the racks. As much as I did not join in with the buying because I think I shouldn’t be stock-piling or hoarding things that would ultimately expire (and result in me eating even more expired stuff), seeing those shelves that laid bare and empty somehow left a feeling of emptiness (too) in me. A wave of sadness arose in me, and it is weird because I described it as ‘sadness’ but why do empty shelves stir up such feelings of dejection and sadness?

It is similar to the kinds of feelings I experience these days when I see the setting sun at dusk. Although sunset is often lauded and admired by many for the beauty of nature when the brilliance of the setting sun casts magnificent masterpieces that many have captured and posted on social media, the setting sun that gradually leads to a darkening sky seems to invoke that same sense of sadness. I inferred that this could be linked to the feeling that something is coming to an end, just like the bare shelves signify a similar sense of forlorn, the heaviness that weighs on my heart is undeniable.

In my ‘past life’, I went through a hedonistic phase where night fall on weekends, sometimes even on weeknights, meant a renewed lease of life as I spent hours in clubs/pubs, imbibing copious volumes of alcohol of all varieties, lost in the pulsating loud music and alcohol-induced high. These days, I think I have become the exact opposite. I may be able to appreciate the beauty of the night sky, but I much prefer the break of dawn, when the rising sun creeping up slowly from beyond the horizon lights up the world as life starts to stir and awake.

 

On to happier things on a Friday. Happy food, happy belly, happy mind maybe.

I don’t think the number of call-meetings I had this week was more than last, but I don’t know why I feel more tired this week as compared to last, and have not been more glad that it’s finally Friday.

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