I’m in bondage

It’s so real and I know what they all say… that it’s all in the mind and I should “get over it”.

I can choose to not step on the weighing scale every morning but I can’t make myself stop doing that.

I can choose to ignore what the number displays but I can’t make myself not register the figure that appears.

I can choose to not feel anything when the number isn’t something I’m comfortable with seeing because it has gone up significantly but I can’t psyche myself to not experience any emotions.

I can choose a lot of things but am I choosing to not choose to do so and choose the path that will lead me to where the sun shines but instead continue or head into a tunnel of darkness that has no opening at the end into light, only further and deeper into pitch blackness?