finding peace. letting go.

Four simple words, yet it’s probably one of the hardest things to do.

Whether as a believer or not, we are always advised to “let go”. As a believer, the phrase that follows would be “let God”, and for the non-believer, simply it would be to “not sweat the small things”.

Yet there are also those who advocate exercising control over our lives because we are the masters of our lives, the one who charts our own destiny. But we can’t deny that in life, some things are just beyond our control, be it by some divine intervention or cosmic coincidence, and the best course of action would be to just go with the flow and not try so hard to wrestle an ironclad grip on things and thereby subjecting ourselves to the frustration, stress and helplessness when things don’t go our way.

That, is something I am trying very hard to ingrain in me, to not sweat the small things, slow down and accept that not every moment has to be spent rushing from point to point, place to place, that there are some things that are just beyond my realm of control that should not become the source of my frustration, that there will always be those inconsiderate and idiotic beings ‘that’ (sic) I have to coexist with in this world, and take my time to smell the roses, enjoy life for what it has to offer, as I gradually search out and live the purpose of my life as ordained and planned by God.

Because life is short. And moments short lived. Like the fireworks that are set off in the stark night sky, illuminating the once pitch darkness with their brilliance, if only for those split seconds, with aplomb and gasps of amazement from onlookers, only to leave a smoky trail shortly after, returning the night once more to its initial darkness.

There are times like these, when I can think rationally and calmly, that peace finds its place in my heart.

But yet there are also those times when all calmness departs from me like air escaping a puncture balloon, when hell breaks loose and I struggle to gain any semblance of control over how my thoughts run and which direction they head.

Saturday. Enjoy the weekend, before a new week starts again.

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creeping doubts

Boleh. Means “Ok” in Malay, I think?

So am I boleh, or tak boleh?

There are always times when doubts start to creep up on us, like a thief, stealthily, attempting to scrap away the peace that we are painstakingly building up each and every day of our lives.

In a short span of a month or 30 days, so much seemed to have happened that time seems to have really flown by and the 720 hours unrecountable.

It is also with this slippage of time that doubts have started forming, following that almost positive-sounding last post I made. I begin to question if indeed I had erred again, stepped onto a path that will cause me to deviate even more than what I thought I’d planned on doing. If I had, then surely I hadn’t learned my lesson, and have plunged myself deeper into a ravine of no return.

But… as I got reminded, life is always full of unexpected twists and turns. Especially in this time and age, borrowing from the overused term depicting our times – disruption – change is prevalent and necessary. We never know where each step forward will bring us. And taking the biblical perspective, even if I might have missed my footing and embarked on a wrong path, God will always make things good and guide me back, cause doors to be opened for my sake; I only need to believe, and even with each step right or wrong, there will always be a lesson to learn and grow from.

I read today, that “every decision we take in life does make us either a little bit lighter, or heavier.” So is it upon us to make that decision that would cause us to feel lighter, and perhaps then, happier and with greater contentment in life?