Goodbye 2017

Another 1 day and few hours to go before we call it a close on 2017.

How has this year been? I have mixed feelings about this.

As I finally decided to leave my job without having something waiting (yet again, for the second time in history), perhaps it is a good thing. But I’m not entirely sure.

I wondered if I’d made any progress though where coping with my emotions are concerned, but probably in the last couple of months I might have done better, having had a better perspective. Yes, after a year and a half a bulb kind of lit up. However it led to more rumination, deliberation, and searching, which until this day has left me utterly exhausted and brought on me a serious bout of sleeplessness.

I never knew pain could feel like this. Not in the physical sense but nonetheless still strongly felt and striking deep. It can hit so suddenly without any warning that it could catch me totally unaware and leaves me reeling from wave after wave of assault.

With all these, I still hope that 2018 will be a better year. That’s the only thing I can hang on to, after all.

And while clinging on to that hope, make feeble attempts to give thanks for whatever blessings I have had over the last year.

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