Expectations…

are always something of an issue for me. Something that I grapple with, whether it is my expectations of people, or maybe others’ expectations of me. We are all selfish to a certain extent, and as much as we try to think that we do not want to have expectations of people, it isn’t realistic to think so. In a way, we can manage it in a way that we have different levels of expectations of different groups of people in our lives. Perhaps we can do without too much expectations of friends because as it is, expectations of family and partners can already be overwhelming. But when a certain group becomes a major part of your life, it is hard to be without expectations of them, or them of you.

We do not want to have to deal with others’ expectations of us, and we do not want to need to live up to these expectations, but secretly do we expect our expectations of others to be lived out and lived up to? Confusing much?

I guess friends are always a big part of my life, since young. It isn’t that I do not have a happy or complete family but somehow, friends have always featured rather prominently in my life from my school days, and I am always too affected by them for my own good. I have perhaps unrealistic expectations of them that cannot be achieved somewhat to an acceptable level and so I end up always feeling some kind of disappointment. At the very least, I would say, expect people I count as friends to remember my birthday and wish me happy birthday, yes you would think this is something very frivolous but yet it is something I treasure. I do think it is the thought that counts, and as much as these days we don’t really receive presents anymore, the simple thought of being remembered by someone, just a simple “Happy Birthday” is enough for me. There are of course those who go the extra mile to give me a birthday treat, or buy me a cake with a candle, these are appreciated definitely but they aren’t mandatory. I try to do something for people around me as well on their special days, and even though it isn’t right to think of the need to reciprocate and be reciprocated, friendship is very much a 2-way traffic, no?

Still, I suppose there are people who choose not to want to have expectations of friends or so they say. But to a certain extent, I think it is just self-delusion. Or perhaps there is a different connotation and understanding of just what counts as expectations.

OK. End thought process. End transmission.

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